No question the original God Father of Father’s Rights in Vancouver is Carey Linde, my good colleague and friend. He gets all the credit. Times have changed though from when he started fighting the system for father’s rights in BC.
He started defending men at a time when women were preferred in the BC Family Law court system- specially when it came to child custody or parenting time. He fought everyone – judges, women, society, the Law Society, the News Papers, the hate, the resistance. People called him crazy, a rebel, inappropriate, breaching rules. Through his persistent fighting and with the help of many other lawyers (men and women), the new BC Family Law Act was enacted in 2013. It recognized Father’s Rights to a degree that even the Canadian government started proposing a law that would by default give 50/50 custody to any decent parents – fathers or mothers. And that was beautiful. Because it was a symbol of recognizing equally in our society. Carey contributed to that – whether they will admit it or not.
Carey is one of the very few lawyers that focus on men’s rights. But they don’t try to take away women’s rights. They just want equality for both men and women.
I hired Carey to represent me in getting shared parental custody with my son. I had previously hired another lawyer who did nothing for me and charged me $4000. Carey was the right lawyer from the start. He communicated clearly. And because of his background in Psychology, he provided insight into the mentality of my son’s mother that I find most lawyers don’t have or understand. He has a way of understanding people and circumstances beyond what the face value of the law says. He was key to me winning my case and exhibited a determination and assertiveness that was appropriately needed for my case. I would recommend Carey to anyone going through a similar case of shared parental custody. I think Carey was worth every penny and ended up saving me tens of thousands of dollars. And because of his proficiency he ended up costing me less than my first lawyer.
Carey Linde has revolutionized custody for fathers in British Columbia.
Everyone Should Be So Lucky:
It is very crushing to go through a divorce, especially when a child is involved. My emotions were on a roller coaster throughout this process. Carey and his team made this difficult time understandable and most of all bearable for me. At times they also slid into a therapeutic role, not allowing me to lose myself in one of the most trying times of my life. They focused my attention on the important issues in my case and made me realize that the big picture is more important than the day-to-day minutia one can easily get wrapped up into. For me the most important thing was my daughter, who was only a year old at the time.
Carey’s style is more collaborative than combative. A style, which at the end of the day, managed to achieve me a visitation schedule with my daughter of (4) overnights per week; an extraordinary accomplishment for a single dad with such a young child. Carey and his team are more than just legal experts in Family Law, but also an assuaging group of people that I now consider my friends. Everyone should be so lucky. It was like having my own personal army taking care of the things that needed to be done and keeping me strong throughout. Thank you Carey and to those on your team!
Mr. Linde is a kind-hearted, wise man who put me at ease and took the details of my case seriously. In a very short time he gave me some powerful, actionable advice. I am very grateful for that and it was worth the trip and money for me.
Reading your article “How the game is played” I felt after that you had written it for me personally. I am currently having major issues with my three year old son’ mum in that she is using false and malicious untruths with various bodies i.e. police and social services to say I am not fit to look after my son, all have been defended successfully by myself with evidence yet she still continues. Currently going through family court at the moment and have no legal counsel for me as unable to afford this. I had no idea how to approach the court and your article made so much sense and I now have a clearer picture on how to conduct myself at court. My son was born with Down’s Syndrome and I have to do what is right and just for him and I was really worried on how to deal with this as my emotions where taking over.
Many Thanks and Kind Wishes.
Subsequent firing my lawyer due to lack of compassion and understanding for my situation, I hired Mr. Linde. That was the smartest thing I ever did for my daughter and I!
Mr. Linde and his staff were attentive to my needs and more than understanding to my unique situation. After all was said and done, the court awarded me (4) out of (7) days a week with my (1) year old daughter. No need to ask me if it was money well spent…the visitation schedule says it all. And Mr. Carey’s paralegal assistant, Mr. Armstrong was simply the BEST!
Though I never thought I would see the inside of a court room, I am glad that I saw it with Mr. Linde by my side.
I first met Carey Linde in 2006 when I consulted him regarding a protracted parental alienation syndrome case. Even though at that time I was not his client, Carey was generous in giving me advice and guidance through an extremely challenging situation. Carey’s advice was crucial to the success of my efforts to save my daughter from what the courts eventually recognized as a very harmful environment.
I have been a client of Mr. Linde’s since 2007. Of the many legal professionals I have met during the ten years of my family court experience, Carey Linde stands far above the rest in terms of his professional and personal ethics, his knowledge of the law and his expertise in dealing with the intricacies of a Byzantine court system. He has a compassionate understanding of the plight of parents and children caught up in court proceedings.
Carey Linde’s office established case law precedent in Canada by getting an order keeping my daughter’s alienating mother from any access for one year.
Carey Linde continues to take a sympathetic interest in the progress of my family, and I can never repay him for his many kindnesses in supporting us. Mr. Linde is unparalleled in his effectiveness as a family law expert.
(Carey Linde) “… an oasis in the desert.”
The Beginnings and Pre-Trial
I first met Carey Linde in the late 1980s when we were in adversarial roles. I was part of a large defendant company being represented by an equally large Vancouver law firm. Carey was representing a small plaintiff and had the task of deposing me over a couple of days.
We had a good exchange and I was left with a feeling of respect for Carey, his incisiveness, and integrity which, at the time, I thought were odd attributes for a lawyer. I remembered his name and some ten years later, was glad that I had.
I married in 1992, we had our daughter in 1993 and separated in 1996, when I came home from work to find the house emptied. In the beginning the separation was somewhat amicable – because it was slanted so much in favour of my soon-to-be ex-wife and I had lingering thoughts about salvaging our relationship.
My ex-wife and our daughter stayed in the family home after her lawyer threatened that if I was not compliant, I would “lose everything.” I should have, but did not retain counsel at that point. Like most good fathers, I chose to be the one to leave the family home and struggle myself rather than have my child do so. Continuing to pay the mortgage on our home, I paid all other outstanding bills, provided unconditional use of my car, and also paid my ex-wife $1200 per month.
Meanwhile, I moved in a two-room basement suite, budgeted carefully, walked to work and was allowed to see my 3-year-old daughter 1/2 day mid-week and every other weekend (two days and one night). For approximately three years, my exposure to my child was four days in total per month. I did not retain a lawyer as I was hopeful of repairing my marriage. I should have sought legal advice immediately things started to go south.
After a period of relative calm, which I now understand was to provide my ex-wife with time to join several radical support groups and plan, I was served with documents starting our divorce. I became the “defendant.”
My ex-wife cut off all access to my child, I did not see her, speak with her, or have any contact whatsoever for over one year. It was the most difficult period in my life.
I phoned Carey Linde. Carey met with me promptly and began his mentorship to me in the fine art of being a father defendant in family law. His abiding message was patience and hope, and try to de-personalize the onslaught. It took me awhile to begin to listen and learn, particularly in the latter case.
My ex-wife began making her case to cut me out of my daughter’s life.
Over the pre-trial period of several years she drafted so many affidavits that I lost count. She adopted the mantle of “victimization” and became quite creative in beginning to build a case against me that, eventually, would defy the imagination.
She would make 43 allegations ranging, in terms of false allegations, from the ridiculous (that I laundered money for the Chicago mafia), to the horrible (that I sexually molested my daughter). This was the defining accusation that held much sway on judges and others during the 1980s. It took people like Carey, who laboured mightily against such travesties, many years to turn the tables and expose this all-too-recurring false accusation.
It was difficult not to let this constant barrage bury me – the well of self-pity and anger was never far away. Through it all, while I railed against the imaginary, Carey was at all times the calm helmsman, consistent in his advice and patience.
As was necessary, Carey rebutted each accusational affidavit promptly and adeptly. Before trial, there is only so much you can do to bring the truth forward, again patience is the critical ingredient. On Carey’s advice, I submitted to a Polygraph on the specific topic of “sexual molestation” and passed the test. This buoyed my spirit and hopefulness.
Carey would depose my ex-wife, and his interviewing skill was both effective and incisive. We had valuable information with which to build an defense. Carey did everything possible to avoid trial and to bring the situation to a mediated ending.
As mentioned, the plaintiff was receiving free legal aid and used this circumstance to retain a revolving door of legal counsel. In all, she would plough her way through eight lawyers over the course of the dispute. Carey would rebut a series of false accusations, my ex-wife’s counsel would give her some no-nonsense advice to “calm down and come to the table,” and they would be fired and replaced.
We went to trial in late 2002.
We began trial in November 2002; it would last for 22 days.
The Plaintiff took 18 of those days and was unsuccessful in proving any of the 43 false allegations. This was due to Carey’s insightful cross-examination skills and trial plan, which brought truth to the courtroom.
We had many pre-planning sessions where I became familiar with Carey declaring, “K, just keep it brief and just answer my question.” He kept me focused and that made all the difference. Carey also maintained a warm relationship with my daughter and kept her “best interests” at the forefront of everyone’s mind.
In particular, Carey was at the top of his game in cross-examining key expert witnesses, specifically, a child psychologist. Carey expertly exposed her thinly disguised bias toward the Plaintiff. After an excellent exchange, the Dr. conceded and finally concurred I represented no threat to my daughter.
Cross-examination makes or breaks trials, and you can only imagine the confidence I felt knowing Carey Linde would be challenging any testimony that did not contain the truth.
I wish I had that transcript, it was a riveting – controlled by Carey’s deep experience in both law, psychology, and experience in being a father in children’s lives.
Due to Carey’s planning and execution at trial, I won full shared custody of my daughter and the Plaintiff an admonishment for fabricating evidence.
The feeling of relief and joy was something I have never experienced before.
I was able to parent my child for two weeks per month, and restore our relationship.
My daughter is now 18 years of age, graduated Grade XII with an “A” average, developed a love affair with stage and theatre. She not only starred in productions both in school and outside (The Cultch, The Norman Rothstein Theatre, Fringe Festival, and the Gilbert and Sullivan Troupe). She will begin college on a scholarship this fall and is a well-adjusted, fine young woman.
I believe this is a direct result of having two parents fully involved in her life.
And that is due to a lawyer advocate called Carey Linde.